Grammar Rebel

“So me and Jeremy went to the movies last night, right?”

Jeremy and I,” I interject. A cruel and pretentious laugh saturates the air as a grin spreads across my face. My dominance has been established. The world now knows my power. “Heh, can I get some aloe for that burn?”

“I don’t know, can you?” The whole room falls silent. Mouths are agape. From this moment on, nothing will ever be the same.

. . .

It’s just grammar, right? Wrong! Is what some people will tell you. But the rules of language are not set in stone; they are, in fact, ever evolving social constructs, no more or less valid than what we may decide. 

Despite the apparent rigidity of grammar, there are countless examples of its manipulation in everyday life, particularly on social media. There is, for example, the use of question marks at the end of statements?? Or the sudDEN CAPITALIZATION HALFWAY THROUGH A SENTENCE. Or even the famed, objectless, “I can’t.” 

Such deviations from grammatical norms are often seen as childish and laughable, even demonstrative of mental shortcomings—until a dead, white, and celebrated author does it, that is. In the HuffPost’s article titled “7 Famous Authors Who Made It Okay To Commit Grammar No-No’s,” each “no-no” is paired with a section on “why it’s okay.” Of course, this justification is completely unnecessary, because it is always okay to push the boundaries of an already fluid and abstract concept. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But, Casey! You’ve been using proper grammar all over the place!” Yes. You got me. 

Of course I admit that grammar has its place; namely, it gives clarity, since misusing punctuation and the like might only serve to muddle an argument. After, all just throwing, in, commas wh,erever you’d like, is hardly, an effective tool,. Wait. I take that back. That sentence was actually fun to write. And the more time I spend thinking about it, the more I…

Raindrops. fall at. a ryth.mic pace,

Wh,ile, frogs jump, spora,dicall,y into smeared pon,ds,

And lightning—in sharp cracks—separates the sky.

Sure, grammatical rules are useful, but they should only ever be used as a means to enhance your writing; and sometimes, that means turning them inside out and upside down and shamelessly putting them on display for all to see. So go ahead, break some rules—be a rebellious writer. And, while you’re at it, how about sending some of that linguistic angst our way?

. . .

“7 Famous Authors Who Made It Okay To Commit Grammar No-No’s.” HuffPost, HuffPost, 6 Dec. 2017, http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/20/grammar-rules_n_4768485.html.

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